Every January, people make the same promises to themselves. This year, I will finally get fit.This year, I will stop procrastinating. This year, I will get my life together. By February, most of those goals are abandoned. What usually replaces them is disappointment and shame. “I knew I would fail.” “There is something wrong with me.” “I just do not have the discipline other people have.” Most New Year’s resolutions don’t fail because people do not care, but because they are

January is often strange emotionally. Christmas is over. The buildup and excitement are gone. People expect to feel relief, but instead, many feel flat, irritable, or a bit low. They tell themselves they should be grateful. They should be rested. They should be ready to get on with things. And yet they feel worse. From a CBT perspective, this is very common and very understandable. The crash after emotional intensity December is a heavy month emotionally. Even when it is enjo

By Katrina Dennehy We don’t choose the family we are born into. Sometimes we wish we didn’t have to connect with certain members of our family, and sometimes we choose not to. Whether that is for our own sanity or health, it can be and is a hugely difficult decision to make, and situation to manoeuvre. So what happens at times of the year like this? Where there are certain expectations to meet with family and even sit and eat with them, this can cause significant distress. Wh

By Kevin Noonan Christmas gives us plenty to look forward to, from cosy moments to catch-ups with friends and family. It also gives us something most of us would happily do without, the embarrassing moment. Maybe you knocked over a glass at the dinner table, said something awkward during a family conversation, or sang a little too enthusiastically at the work party. Whatever form it takes, that wave of cringe can stick around far longer than the moment itself. When something

By Mary Clare Douglas                 This season can be a challenging or an opportune time, depending on the lens that you choose to wear! What lens will you intentionally choose to wear, and what are the consequences? When we are choosing what glasses to purchase or ‘buy in to’, or ‘accept’ we might think of the advantages and disadvantages of the selection. Or we feel rushed and select based on what is available, without really thinking! When we are deciding to buy glasses

By Simona Pilloni The holiday season often comes with expectations of joy, laughter, and togetherness, but if you’ve lost someone you love, it can feel heavy, lonely, or even overwhelming. Not feeling “merry and bright” during this time is normal, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Grief doesn’t take a holiday, and your emotions are valid. During this season, traditions and gatherings may feel bittersweet or exhausting. It’s okay to set boundaries: decline invit

By Vivienne Lillis There is a beautiful Christmas ad from Vodafone that strays from the traditional picture of happy families gathered around a table and shows a dad going for a Christmas Day swim with his daughter who is obviously living abroad, on Facetime on his phone, sharing the experience with him. “Are you still with me?” he asks as he surfaces after jumping into the icy water, “I’m with you” she responds. The emotion encapsulated in those three words is bittersweet fo

By Murray Mackenzie Christmas can be a time where we end up in social situations not of our own making. Many of us will end up at work parties or extended family gatherings that make us feel uncomfortable or that trigger social anxiety.  It is worth remembering that when we’re feeling anxious we can be particularly prone to “thinking errors” like mind reading or fortune telling. We might be going into situations overestimating how much others will be judging us or assuming we

By Noel Daly In my work with men, I often observe a subtle but persistent belief: that it is somehow incorrect or burdensome for them to speak about what they feel. This isn’t always rooted in shame or low self-esteem. Many men hold themselves in high regard and function confidently in their personal and professional lives. Yet beneath that competence lies an early-learned conviction that emotional expression is inconsiderate. In other words: to reveal distress, uncertainty,

By Kevin Noonan Each November, Movember shines a spotlight on three key areas in Men’s Health: Prostate Cancer, Testicular Cancer and Mental Health.  As a man who works in mental health, I’ve seen how easy it is for us, men, to downplay what is going on for us mentally. A lot of us have been raised on “Get on with it”, “Boys don’t cry” or “Lads are meant to be strong”. But the truth is, everyone struggles sometimes. Every one of us.  Why the focus on men Men are more likely t