Christmas Cringe

By Kevin Noonan

Christmas gives us plenty to look forward to, from cosy moments to catch-ups with friends and family. It also gives us something most of us would happily do without, the embarrassing moment. Maybe you knocked over a glass at the dinner table, said something awkward during a family conversation, or sang a little too enthusiastically at the work party. Whatever form it takes, that wave of cringe can stick around far longer than the moment itself.

When something embarrassing happens, our mind often magnifies it. We replay the moment again and again, convinced everyone else is doing the same. Thoughts like“They must think I am stupid”, or “I ruined the evening”, pop up quickly and feel believable in the moment. In CBT, these are known as automatic thoughts, and they can shape how we feel long after the event.

The tricky part is that the intensity of embarrassment can make a small moment feel much bigger. A spilt drink becomes a disaster, a comment you made becomes a character flaw, and before we know it, we are carrying the weight of a whole story that is not actually accurate.

How CBT can help you recover from Christmas cringe

1. Catch the thought spiral First, notice the thought that is driving the discomfort. Is your mind telling you that everyone is judging you, or that you have made a terrible impression? Naming the thought is the first step toward loosening its grip.

2. Check the evidence Ask yourself, what actually happened, and how did people respond in reality? Most embarrassing moments last only a few seconds, and others tend to move on quickly. When you check the facts rather than the feeling, the moment often shrinks.

3. Challenge the inner critic Embarrassment often wakes up the part of us that speaks in absolutes, phrases like always, never, or everyone. Replace these with more balanced statements, such as, “It was a small moment, and people probably forgot about it quickly”. This is not positive thinking; it is accurate thinking.

4. Bring attention back to what matters Rumination feeds the cringe. Gently bring your attention back to what is happening now, not what happened earlier. This could be enjoying a conversation, noticing something comforting in the room, or simply taking a slow breath to anchor yourself.

5. Add some compassion If a friend told you the same story, you would probably reassure them that it was no big deal. Offer yourself the same kindness. A little compassion goes a long way in calming embarrassment.

Embarrassing moments are part of being human, and they tend to appear when we are tired, excited, out of routine, or simply trying to juggle the chaos of Christmas. CBT gives us practical tools to help us step out of the mental loop that keeps those moments going.

If you find that your mind is holding on to cringe longer than you would like, a few CBT strategies can help you reclaim the evening and enjoy the season with more ease and humour.

fter all, the things we cringe at now usually become the stories we laugh at later.