Coping at Christmas when Separated from Loved Ones

By Vivienne Lillis

There is a beautiful Christmas ad from Vodafone that strays from the traditional picture of happy families gathered around a table and shows a dad going for a Christmas Day swim with his daughter who is obviously living abroad, on Facetime on his phone, sharing the experience with him.

“Are you still with me?” he asks as he surfaces after jumping into the icy water,

“I’m with you” she responds.

The emotion encapsulated in those three words is bittersweet for so many of us at Christmas: those away from home and loved ones, those who may not have their children with them at Christmas due to separation, even those with adult children who have emigrated and cannot make it home for Christmas. While the constant bombardment of the pressure to have a “wonderful Christmas” can be hard to take, for those separated from loved ones at Christmas it can make the isolation even more painful.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It is normal to feel a range of emotions during Christmas if you are missing loved ones. Allow yourself to recognise and validate these feelings rather than suppressing them. Remember, it is okay to feel sad or nostalgic but also give yourself permission to experience joy and new beginnings.

2. Stay Connected Virtually

 Arrange video calls, share photos, or watch a Christmas film together online. Even if you are in different time zones, a simple message or call can make a big difference in feeling connected.

3. Create New Traditions

While you may miss familiar family traditions, consider starting new ones that suit your current circumstances. New traditions can bring a sense of comfort and meaning to the season.

4. Take Care of Yourself

The holidays can be emotionally taxing, so remember to prioritise self-care. looking after your mental and physical health will help you manage stress and negative feelings.

5. Focus on What You Can Control

 Set realistic expectations for the holiday, and don’t pressure yourself to make everything perfect. Accepting your situation can help you adapt and make the best of your circumstances.

6. Share Your Culture and Traditions

If you are living abroad, consider sharing your own cultural traditions with new friends or colleagues. This can be a rewarding way to celebrate and educate others and can also help you feel more at home.

7. Send Thoughtful Gifts or Letters

Physical gifts or handwritten cards can help bridge the emotional distance. Sending something personal is a tangible way to show you care and helps maintain strong bonds with loved ones, even from afar.

Spending Christmas away from loved ones is never easy, but with a little creativity and self-compassion, you can find ways to make the season meaningful.